Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Saturday, 3 July 2010

image for Demi Lovato Says She Has Developed A Strange Crush On Jon Gosselin
Some of Jon Gosselin's family members on their way to work in South Korea.

TARZANA, California - Disney star Demi Lovato has revealed to her very close friend Selena Gomez that she has developed a crush on a much older male.

She said that for the past two weeks she has done nothing but think about Jon Gosselin the former star of Jon and Kate Plus 8, and ex-husband of Dancing With The Stars participant Kate Gosselin.

Selena asked Demi exactly what in the world she sees in Gosselin. Demi appeared to be hurt by her question. Lovato said that Jon seems so nice, so friendly, and so foreign.

Gomez told her that Jon seems foreign because he is after all from Korea. He's friendly because he virtually has no money and as a result is always borrowing money from females that he knows.

Demi said that she emailed him and told him that she would like to go out on a date with him. He emailed her back and said that she might not like the fact that he smokes, drinks, cusses, and only has a 3-inch pecker.

Demi asked him what the hell a pecker is. He could not believe that she did not know. He told her that a pecker is another name for a winky. "What's a winky?" Demi asked.

"It's a taco tickler" he replied. Again a look of puzzlement, "A diddly dipper, a dinky dink, a wiggle widget, a bibbidy boo." Still puzzlement.

"Okay, how about a wiggle worm?"

"Oh." Demi remarked. "So you mean to tell me that you have a 3-inch peter?"

"Ah, yes."

"Oh...Okay. Well then...bye-bye Jon."

In other news. GOP mouthpiece Ann Coulter says she wants Vice-President Joe Biden to apologize to the American people for using the word 'smartass.' Biden rolled his eyes and said that Ann "Trigger Face" Coulter can kiss his Delaware ass and then move around and s*ck on his 'Dover Rover.'

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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