Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Thursday, 1 July 2010

image for Cheryl Cole and Derek Hough Announce Their Engagement
How in the world Ashley Cole could have given up the above is one of the world's biggest modern mysteries.

DUBAI, India - Cheryl Cole and her American boyfriend Derek "The Dancing Dude" Hough were vacationing in Dubai after a whirlwind romance that has seen them each fly to each others respective side of the "Pond."

The two lovebirds were spotted checking into Dubai's fabulously luxurious Hotel Diamonds & Gold. Chezza wore a pair of extremely short Daisy Duke short shorts that if they had been any shorter they would certainly have shown Lady Cole's gorgeously gorgeous groin goody.

Derek, whom Cheryl calls 'The American bloke who stole her heart, her legs, her tits, her tushie, and of course her English taco' said that she has never in her life been happier, except maybe for that time back in high school when she went on a date with four members of the rugby team and they all ended up in the back of a van.

Chezza and Derek both said that they wanted to keep it a secret, but they said that they could not hold it in any longer and so they announced that they got engaged while visiting her mother in her English home.

Hough was asked what exactly it is that he likes about Cheryl. He laughed. He then said, "Dude, in the interest of time let me just list the things that I do not like about Chezza."

He was asked "What are they?"

"Dude. Nada (Nothing). There is absolutely nothing on Chezza's body that I do not like. It is all perfect. And let me take a few moments to thank Ashley Cole for messing around with his harem of skanks and forcing Cheryl to divorce him."

Derek smiled. He then said, "And Ashley as they say in East Los Angeles, 'muchisimas gracias burro pendejo!'

[EDITOR'S NOTE: Which means, 'many thanks stupid ass'.]

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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