Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Wednesday, 30 June 2010

image for Miley Cyrus Says She Turned Down A Role In The Twilight Saga: Eclipse Because Her Character Had No Nude Scenes
Miley Cyrus squatting dejectedly at the fact that she did not get the part of Mylanta in the film The Twilight Saga: Eclipse.

LAS VEGAS - Miley Cyrus was in Las Vegas to meet with the representatives of the brand new Golden Niblets Gambling Casino and Hotel.

Cyrus has been offered a one year deal to perform at the brand new establishment on Saturdays for $30 million.

Miley giggled as she told the assembled entertainment media that $30 million will certainly buy a lot of underwear, which lately she has just simply been forgetting to wear.

She was asked if the rumors about her turning down a part in the new blockbuster film The Twilight Saga: Eclipse were true.

The young songstress nodded her head and said that the rumors were in fact true. Miley took a sip of her Diet Dr. Pepper and said that the money and the celebrity perks were great.

She then said that the original script called for her part, Mylanta The Evil Seductress of Lyricists, to have a nude scene where she seduces a wordsmith while wearing a capo around her left wrist.

In another scene sans clothes Mylanta was to have had a lesbian scene with the gorgeous blonde vampire Rosalie Hale played by Nikki Reed.

Miley said that the director decided to take both scenes out. The first scene was replaced with a scene of Robert Pattinson's character Edward Cullen petting a vampire bat.

The second scene was replaced with Dakota Fanning's character Volturi Vampire Jane, discovering that she has just had her very first period. And for a vampire that can be extremely traumatic not to mention dangerous as hell.

Cyrus said that she pleaded with the director to please leave the two nude scenes in because at the moment there is no one anywhere on the Internet whose cute little hooha, or even cute big hooha has been viewed more than hers and that includes Britney Spears, Lindsay Lohan, and Paris Hilton combined.

The director simply rolled his eyes and stated, "Well, that's most definitely true, but maybe next time cutey."

In other news. Naomi Campbell must be slipping. The fiery-tempered diva, prima-donna managed to go the whole month of June without embarrassing, insulting, or hitting any of her employees.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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