Written by Abel Rodriguez
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this

Monday, 28 June 2010

image for Jesse James Is Reportedly Dating Maricar The Sexy Whip Cracking Dominatrix From America's Got Talent
Maricar the sexy dominatrix has become one of the favorites on America's Got Talent.

LONG BEACH, California - The man who broke Sandra Bullock's heart, Jesse "The Shithead" James has revealed that he is in fact dating Maricar the sexy whip cracking dominatrix who is appearing on America's Got Talent.

James said that when he first saw her on the show he immediately told himself that he needed to try his best to get into that sensuous gals undies, but not in a gay way.

Jesse, who along with Tiger "Dick With Feet" Woods are both leading candidates for this year's "Asshole of The Year Award" said that he heard that Maricar has several private tattoos scattered throughout the various intimate parts of her body.

Maricar reportedly has a tattoo of Charlie Sheen's lips on her labia majora. It is also rumored that she has President Obama's lips tattooed on her G-spot.

Jesse was asked why he seems to be attracked to skanky looking woman. He shrugged his shoulders and said that Mari, as he calls her, is not the least bit skanky.

He added that she knows the names of all of the Great Lakes and that she learned them by using the HOMES memorizing system.

He went on to say that even Adam Lambert who is quite gay says that he finds Maricar to be a very erotic bitch.

When Maricar heard about Lambert's remark, she reportedly stated that she would like to have a go at Mr. Lambert, and she further added that after she got through putting the "Do" to Lambert's "Boo" he would swear off men forever.

[EDITOR'S NOTE: Okay wonderful readers. I have to admit that I don't think that I really understand Maricar's last statement about the "Do" and the "Boo." I asked Abel and he suggested that I call up Larry King and ask him. I called LK but it went to voice mail right away.]

Make Abel Rodriguez's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story

Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 2 plus 1?

7 3 5 13
91 readers are online right now!

Go to top