Written by anthonyrosania
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Topics: suicide

Monday, 28 June 2010

image for Jennifer Capriati: Epic Suicide Fail!
Jen, your suite is ready...

Sources report that ability-squandering tennis star Jennifer Capriati has experienced another epic fail when she attempted suicide, and f--ked that up.

Loser McHasbeen was rushed to the hospital early this morning after paramedics responded to a call for a possible overdose.

Sources tell thespoof.com that the call came from a hotel in Riviera Beach, FL. Capriati was transported to a nearby hospital.

Jennifer's father tells us she's recovering well.

Capriati won 14 career titles, including three Grand Slams. She also won a gold medal at the 1992 Olympics.

Nevertheless, Serena Williams armpit hair was more talented that she, so Capriati stayed in the public eye by being arrested for marijuana possession and for shoplifting a ring. Had she successfully stolen the $35.00 bauble, she would have doubled her net worth.

Get well, Jen, and good luck with future attempts!

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