Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Topics: World Cup, Vuvuzelas

Sunday, 27 June 2010

image for The Word Vuvuzela Has Just Surpassed The Word Vagina As The Most Used Word In The English Speaking World
The Cornet is a distant cousin to the vuvuzela except that it is not as long, inexpensive, or as annoyingly irritating.

INDIANAPOLIS - Language expert Dr. Wilfred F. Chicory has just informed the linguistic media that recent surveys on the spoken and written word have shown that the South African word vuvuzela has just surpassed the extremely popular word vagina in use.

[EDITOR'S NOTE: Everyone knows what a vagina is. But there are still a few folks living in Alaska, Arizona, and Arkansas who do not know what a vuvuzela is. A vuvuzela is a tremendously annoying noise-making trumpet that was invented in South Africa. The unbelievably irritating noise it produces sounds like a swarm of millions of African bees. The people of Great Britain fear that the horrendous piece of shit musical instrument may make it to the U.K. within the coming week.]

Dr. Chicory said that a survey taken this past week showed that the word vuvuzela is used approximately 8,984,591 times within a 24-hour period, whereas the word vagina is only used 3,910,327 times.

Dr. Chicory said that the only other time that he can remember when a word became more popular than the word vagina was in 1958, when the word Frisbee shot up and was used a little over 10 million times within a 24-hour period.

The good doctor was asked if there are any lingering side affects to listening to the vuvuzela noise for an entire soccer match.

Dr. Chicory raised his eyebrows and replied, "I am sorry to say yes to that question. We are starting to see foreign visitors to the South African World Cup games literally jumping out of hotel windows, after returning to their hotels from a World Cup match."

A spokesperson for the World Cup Games Committee, who asked that we please not mention his name, said that there have already been 116 lawsuits filed due to damage to the ears, throat region, nasal cavity, and in 7 cases the vaginal area.

In other news. The latest Madonna rumors are saying that the 51-year-old singer has finally caved in to the request of her manager, chauffeur, and two maids and she will be going in to have the world's first 'personality transplant.'

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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