ATLANTA - Mrs. Pattie Lynn Mallette aka Justin Bieber's "Mommy" says that she has been offered $50,000 to show her boobs in PlayGuy Magazine.
The 34-year-old mom says that she is thrilled, honored, and flattered as the absolute dickens to be asked to show off her amazingly firm, nubile, and lusciously luscious titties (her words).
Canadian singing heartthrob Justin Bieber was asked what he thought about his mom showing her chi chi's (again her words) for all of the world and even those living in Alaska to see.
Justin got a serious look on his face and said, "Dude, that's my friggin mom for goodness sakes. And I just cannot believe that my mommy wants to show off her knockers, which I haven't even seen since I was four or five or maybe six."
Little Bieber was close to tears when he said that he feels violated, abandoned, and quasi abused. Justin noted that he truly feels that some of his fans are going to start calling him "Titty Baby."
When told that he should be proud that a highly reputable publication wants to showcase his mom's butterbags, Justin just stuck out his tongue and said that he is afraid that he is going to end up being traumatized.
An now on top of all of that, Weird Al Yakovic, the song satirist, has reportedly already written a song about the situation.
Yankovic has titled the song parody, "Don't Go Knockin' Justin Bieber's Mommy's Knockers Until You've Seen The Sensationally Sexy Looking Snuggle Puppies Mmmm-Mmmm."
When Pattie Lynn was asked to comment on the ongoing brouhaha concerning her tata's she merely smiled, stuck out her sweater treats and replied, "I really have no comment. I'll just let my gorgeous-looking maracas speak for themselves, so to speak."
To view lots and lots of excellent self-shot photos of Justin Bieber's mommy's fabulous looking rack log on to www.justinbiebersmommysmangoes.tit