The principal executor of the Michael Jackson estate has announced that the anniversary of the troubled singer's death is to be repeated in perpetuity.
"I firmly believe" says Uri Geller, spokesman for Jackson's spirit entity, "that Michael would have wanted to be remembered on an annual basis, and so I have asked Elizabeth Taylor - his principal executor - to announce that 25 June is to be the anniversary of Michael's passing.
I have also discussed this on the astral plane with Michael himself, and while Michael is pissed about the poisoning of his giraffes, he sees no reason not to capitalise on an annual remembrance of the significant contribution Michael continues to make to his family's coffers".
Breaking down at this point, Mr Geller hinted that legal proceedings have been implemented against the Jackson estate in an effort to remain in the public eye and somehow to profit from the death of his very, very dear and best friend.
In a closing statement, Mr Geller remarked that "there is no way any other day of the calendar can now be selected as Michael Jackson's "deathiversary" and if that little shit Bubbles tries to muscle in even one more time......"
At this point, Ms Taylor's attendants intervened and punched Geller's lights out.
Uri Geller was not available for comment.