Written by Bob Muppet
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Wednesday, 2 July 2003

image for Actors Stage Indefinite Strike
I am an actor, darling

Equity, the actors union, shocked the Art world by staging an indefinite strike.

?Real life people are too boring and we will stay on strike until they get their act together', explained Tarquin Trotter, a union spokesperson.

?We will stay out until the public give us more interesting characters' he asserted. Future actors will have no parts to play, if the plebs carry on like this'.

?It's the Political Correctness thing that's the problem. Folks don't smoke, don't drink, and are tucked up in bed by nine o'clock. In short, modern people are not interesting any more'.

?Take Al Capone as an example. In real life he was a no-hoper who was good at killing people, but when old James Cagney took over his part he became a folk hero'.

?Similarly, Ghandi was a scruffy Indian troublemaker until Ben Kingsley took over his script and turned him into a Statesman.

?It's simple really. We actors become the characters we play. That's why we luvvies get Oscars and Knighthoods and things.'

?So do us all a favour and get a life. ---a life for us to take over, that is.'

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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