Written by Lila Croft
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Tuesday, 1 July 2003

By judging Lara's life, one would expect there to be training rooms and displays of her stolen treasures. This is true for the majority of the house, but alas her bedroom hides deeper secrets...

From the moment you enter the room, you are hit with a glow that is pink and fluffy, starting from her bed - a huge lilac silk duvet almost swathed in teddy bears and cuddly toys, with fairy-tale style lace curtains surrounding it, - to the vast vanity table covered with make-up of all kinds.

The huge closet, hidden from public view, also shows signs of her obviously strong femininity, with frilly dresses hanging from every rail. Looking closely, another handle becomes clear, and after tugging on it, a shrine to Ballerina Barbie is revealed.

After swiftly exiting her room, one does ponder the question " Hold on, Lara's room doesn't look like that in the game. What the hell are you on about?"

The answer to this is simple - to show Lara's true femininity would hamper the game's success and purpose. The consumer would not wish to see Lara as an old steriotype of a simpering fool; instead we would wish to see a woman "just as good as a man", empowering the slogan "Girl Power".

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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