Written by Charpa93
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Tuesday, 22 June 2010

image for CD by Kim Jong Il and the Vuvuzelas Topping World Charts
Kim Jong Il's Private Rocket Ship

Wal-Mart stores all over the world are selling out of the #1 chart topping CD "First the World Cup, Now the World" by Kim Jong Il and the Vuvuzelas. The CD is rife with the hauntingly familiar sound of the vuvuzela horn in the background as Kim Jong Il rambles his way through the spoken word ignoring the iambic pentameter as he would a starving soldier.

Said one person who couldn't resist buying a copy, "it is one of the worst CD's I've ever come across. That is what makes it so special." Not since Leonard Nimoy Presents "Mr. Spock's Music from Outer Space" Mr. Spock - Twinkle, Twinkle Little Earth has there been anything quite this bizarre, yet people are lining up to make this special CD a part of their collection.

Although Jong Il recites his poetry in his native Korean tongue, you get a sense of just how crazy cool he can be. Songs like "Filthy Scum of Earth, Die" and "I Think, Therefore You Act" will have you amazed and totally confused. Think Leonard Cohen meets Leonard Nimoy.

But the best single off this CD is definitely his cover of Living Colour's 1988 hit song "Cult of Personality," which, when recited instead of sung, and done so in Korean instead of English, becomes an anomaly unto itself. Listen as the vuvuzelas taper off and Kim Jong Il recites these words "I sell the things you need to be, I'm the smiling face on your tv, I'm the cult of personality, I exploit you, still you love me, I tell you one and one makes three, I'm the cult of personality, the cult of personality, the cult of personality." This truly is the work of a mad genius.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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