Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Tuesday, 22 June 2010

image for Ryan Seacrest Says American Idol Is Dropping Its Age Eligibility To Six
First and second graders getting ready to audition for next year's American Idol.

HOLLYWOOD - American Idol Producer Simon Shindlebocker, has just announced that for the upcoming AI season number 10, the age eligibility has been lowered from 16 down to 6.

When asked if the fact that AI viewership has dropped off considerably during the past two seasons was the reason for this major change Shindlebocker laughed and said no.

He was asked if Simon Cowell's leaving had anything to do with lowering the age limit down to 6.

And again he simply replied with a no answer.

Randy "The Black Dawg" Jackson was asked what brought on the new change. He said that he feels that it is all about pitch. When asked to please explain the dawg said that most young kids from 6 to 12 have not yet developed the bad habit of being 'pitchy.'

He noted that the singing trait of 'pitchyness' does not manifest itself until after puberty usually at around the age of 16.

Ellen, who was sitting next to Randy eating a deluxe burrito with extra jalapeƱos, was asked what she thought. She grinned and replied, "What he said" pointing towards Randy.

And Kara DioGuardi who says she misses Simon tremendously said that she wishes she could see him again so that he could play with her thighs underneath the judges table and so that she could grab his wiener during the commercials.

Ryan Seacrest said that he feels that the reason that the age has dropped down from 16 to 6 is to attract the Justin Bieber - Selena Gomez - Demi Lovato - and Jonas Brothers crowd.

Ryan said that kids in the 6 to 12 age range purchase over 90 percent of the Coca Colas sold in America and Coke just happens to be American Idol's number one sponsor.

SIDENOTE: Rumors that Paula Abdul will be taking Simon Cowell's place are false, along with the rumors that Larry King will also be moving into Simon's chair.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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