Written by Monkey Woods
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Tuesday, 22 June 2010

image for Simon And Garfunkel Tour Changes
A bridge over troubled water

There was good news, last night, for fans of 1970s superduo, Simon and Garfunkel, when it was announced that their grand tour of the US is back on schedule again, albeit with some minor changes.

The first is that neither of the duo will actually be appearing in person, both of them being both too old to carry off performances of this magnitude at their respective ages. Mr Simon is now 93, and Mr Garfunkel a slightly more sprightly 89.

Instead, the duo will be represented on stage by 'doubles', actors who look very much like the singers. Cardboard cutouts of the real Simon and Garfunkel, pictured in their prime, will also be placed on the stage and around the auditorium.

The second major change to note is that the lookalikes on stage won't be singing Simon and Garfunkel songs, as they are no longer that popular. They will, instead, perform a selection of current hits from the world of rock and pop - some rap music might also form part of the show.

Ticket prices have also had to be amended. The original price of admission was $100, but, taking into account all of the administration fees necessary to keep the tour afloat, the new price will be $300. Fans who already have tickets will be able to pay a discounted price of $290.

Organisers of the tour say that fans will still enjoy the experience, and will "hardly notice the difference".

Rumours of a rift between the two singers have been played down by the duo's management company who say the pair have not split, and that a black eye sustained by Mr Garfunkel last week, came about as the result of 'an accident'.

For those not already familiar with the tour dates, here they are:


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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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