Written by Dorry McGuire
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Wednesday, 23 March 2005

image for "Odd Couple" Testifies In Michael Jackson trial
DESPERATE FOR A WITNESS Michael Jackson and his accuser have both gotten so desperate they've called these 2 to testify. They've accepted.

It may seem the Michael Jackson trial is getting weirder and weirder each time he enters court. Now, both Jackson and his teenage accuser have gone to the extremes in search for witnesses. A very odd couple have decided to testify for each. Turns out strangely enough, Drew Carey and Mimi Bobeck have testified.

"I don't know what in the world that small nosed lunatic was thinking when he messed with this poor kid," says Bobeck, "I'll say one thing for every single one of you fans out there, watch out, this guy is ill in the mind. You people have to find Michael Jackson guilty!!" was all she could get out before getting a big, loud "Objection!! Irrelevant name calling unnecessary!" out of Jackson's defense attorney, Tom Mesereau Jr.

Jackson's witness, Drew Carey, also thought differently, "I completely disagree!! First of all, this lady needs to stop picking on every single person she sees, secondly..." "Objection!!" The prosecutor yells, before Carey glared for a minute and said, "Let me finish, secondly, the man has said it before, he loves and cherishes children and would never harm them."

After 10 more "Objections!!" they both got some other points across. "I don't understand it, they talk about this idiot being great with kids and garbage like that, when all he does is teach them gruesome acts and give them alcohol," Bobeck testified, "And for the sake of this world, people say this wack has talent? 'Oh, nobody can ever do the Moon Walk like Michael Jackson,' well, let me say this, he can do the Moon Walk alright, he can Moon Walk right into his cell for the rest of his life, thank you!!"

"The lawyer objected, Mrs. Studdard!!" Jackson's witness yelled in retaliation, before being warned by the judge that it was not necessary to comment on weight in the courthouse, "Anyway, yes Michael does have talent, but that's not the issue, the issues here are the fictitious charges of child abuse which we all know are fake and complete scams for money, I mean, look at this boy's mother!! She's scammed the Waterboy already!"

As said so many times before, if convicted, Michael Jackson will face a life sentence in California's "State Juvenile Crazy Home." They hope living there will teach him to Moon Walk himself in another direction, and hopefully, a better direction.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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