Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Sunday, 20 June 2010

image for The New York Yankees Owner Kicks Lady Gaga's Groin Out of The Player's Clubhouse
Lady Gaga wearing a $200 bra that was a gift from Ellen DeGeneres.

NEW YORK CITY - Lady Gaga may make a lot of her fans go gaga but New York Yankees owner Hal Steinbrenner said that he has had enough of the publicity seeking songstress whom he has referred to as a 'publicity ho' of the first magnitude.

Steinbrenner pointed out that Miss Gaga took it upon herself to barge into the Yankees clubhouse uninvited and unannounced.

He said that two players relief pitcher Chan Ho Park of South Korean and infielder Robinson Cano of the Dominican Republic told him that they did not appreciate the singer just walking in while they were taking a shower.

Ho Park said that he noticed that the Gaga woman was staring at his wiener as if she wanted to reach out and touch it for a long long time.

And Cano said that Lady Gaga had asked him to please drop the soap. He said that he did and as soon as he did she snapped a photo of him with her cell phone camera.

Robinson said that he felt cheap, degraded, and visually violated after Lady Gaga made some out-of-line sexist remarks about his 'Little Robinson.' He said that he is not exactly traumatized, but he's in the ballpark, no pun intended.

Meanwhile Derek Jeter said that he kind of enjoyed Lady Gaga visiting the clubhouse. He says he and Alex Rodriguez got quite a kick from seeing Gaga's nipples go from being erect to being way 'erecter.'

New York Yankee management has issued a written apology to both Chan Ho Park and Robinson Cano for this unfortunate sexist incident which will not be repeated again since Lady Gaga will be served with a restraining order prohibiting her from showing her crotch within 500 feet of the Yankees clubhouse.

In other news. Kirstie Alley, Gabourney Sidibe, and Aretha Franklin have each refused Disneyland's fantastic offer of being allowed to turn them into brand new amusement park rides.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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