Bolton funnyman and text sex star Vernon Kay nearly got more than he bargained for last night on James Corden's World Cup TV show.
Apparently, some idiot came up with the idea of riding a surf board type thing in an inflatable paddling pool kind of set up, and when Kay fell off, after blaming 'slippy socks' he was invited to have another go.
In a lame attempt to be funny, the Bolton funnyman then straddled the surf board thing. At which point, gay stand-up comedian and chat show host, Alan Carr - famous for being gay and his unusual teeth - leapt on Kay's back, giving the impression that he was trying to bum him.
A clearly embarrassed Sir Geoff Hurst told Abbey Clancy - Peter Crouch's bird - that he wasn't getting involved in any gay malarkey, while the show's host, Corden, giggled like a mad thing.
When things had calmed down a little, Alan Carr was invited to have a go on the surf board like contraption and promptly fell on his arse, probably forgetting all about the transmitter tucked into the back of his trousers.
A clearly distressed Carr was seen to groan:
"Ow! That fucking hurt!"
Most onlookers regarded it as poetic justice.
James Corden gave the impression that the whole incident was hysterically funny. Which it wasn't.
More as we get it.