Written by IainB
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Friday, 18 June 2010

image for Derek Acorah to appear on Celebrity Come Dine With Me
Albert will be cooking schnitzel

World famous psychic medium and Cordon Bleu chef, Derek Acorah, is to appear on the next episode of Celebrity Come Dine With Me in the autumn.

This being Derek Acorah though, you can expect the unexpected, with Acorah's fellow celebrities to be Albert Einstein, Ray Charles, Lewis Carol and Charles Darwin.

As these fellow celebrities are all dead (sorry if that comes as a shock to anybody) all the dishes will be cooked by Acorah himself while channelling the celebrity in question. Acorah has eschewed the obvious choice of channelling Keith Floyd having said that his liver couldn't take channelling the recently deceased celebrity chef.

Einstein will apparently be creating a typical Austrian dish of beef broth with schnitzel, whilst espousing on theories of the universe with the peculiarly perspective of the dead. Ray Charles will be creating his world famous Philadelphia cheese steak finishing off with a mouthwatering Mississippi Mud Pie, although Acorah is unsure how Charles will cope with being blind.

The ingredients that Lewis Carol will be using are being kept a closely guarded secret but are believed to involve psychotropic mushrooms, and copious amounts of Eat Me Cake for dessert.

It is little known, but Charles Darwin was a vegetarian, and it remains to be seen how the various channelled 'guests' will cope with his dietry requirements, but he is creating a simple roasted pepper dish he picked up on his travels.

The show producers are keen to point out that Acorah will be cooking his own signature dish of Scouse, and not channelling the dead Michelin Star Chef, Robbie Millar.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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