Simon Cowell confirmed yesterday that his dog, Little Simon, shat on the living room carpet last Saturday and immediately spotted a hole in the market. "Everyone knows I'm a big fan of dog acts. But when I saw little Simon lay a cable at the weekend, a light came on in my head." Said Mr Cowell (41).
"If that isn't showBIZ, then I don't know what is", said Cowell. "Little Simon will host the show, but the auditions will be open to all dogs born in the UK, after 1980. I have a number of ex-girlfriends who I definitely think could go all the way in this competition."
Amanda Holden's agent said that she was in the middle of watching her ghost writer work on her new book 'Talent - Who Needs It?' and would unfortunately be unavailable to commit the time necessary to be a judge on the show, but would try and juggle her schedule so she could compete in the earlier rounds.
When approached, Piers Morgan said he will not be involved in any way. "I've seen enough shit for a lifetime, most of it written by, or involving me, so count me out."