Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Sunday, 13 June 2010

image for Selena Gomez Says She Is Tired of Being Called a Diva, a Prima Donna, and a Teen Magazine Queen
A photo of Selena Gomez' mother Mandy. (Photo courtesy of Michelle Obama).

THE ROCKY MOUNTAINS, Colorado - Selena Gomez and her mom Mandy recently visited the famous Continental Divide in the state of Colorado after winning the "Win a Trip To The Continental Divide" contest sponsored by a local radio station in Santa Monica, California.

When mother and daughter got off the JetBlue airplane each wore the same identical red, white, and blue tank top and red, white, and blue short shorts and many tourists actually thought that the two were sisters.

Selena and her mother thought up a 'private game' that every time someone asks if they are sisters Selena will give her mother $10. By the third day of their Colorado vacation, Mrs. Gomez had already made $790.

The "ConDi" as the Continental Divide is referred to by Colorado residents is located high in The Rocky Mountain National Park and has an elevation of 11,502½ feet.

Selena was asked how things are going with her career. She giggled and said that things are great but she is really getting rather tired of people referring to her as a diva, a prima donna, or a teen magazine queen.

She smiled and said that she just wants to be known for being herself, Selena - the great actress and the even greater singer.

Gomez, as Miley calls her, said that she took a lot of pictures which she plans on showing to her celebrity friends back home including Miley, Nick Jonas, Demi Lovato, Taylor Lautner, Cameron Quiseng, and Ricky Ditchhicker.

Selena was asked who the heck Ricky Ditchhicker is. She blushed and said that he is a 'special' someone she just happened to meet at a Taco Piñata Mexican Restaurant in La Brea.

Gomez said that Ricky and her were born in the same hospital, on the same day, and were delivered by the same doctor. She also pointed out that they both refer to Ricky's (blank) as "Herman."

She added that she takes all of the similarities as a sign from the patron saint of musical interludes that she is meant to date Ricky for at least three or four weeks and then move on to some other cute guy.

Selena was asked if she would ever like to settle down with just one guy. She thought about it for a while and then replied, "Yeah, that sounds good. But not until I'm real old like Britney Spears, Christina Aguilera, or Lady Gaga."

In other news. The 60s British band The Dave Clark Five will be going on a reunion tour in the United States. Their manager, in keeping with the high Hispanic influence, has renamed the band The Dave Clark Cinco.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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