Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Friday, 11 June 2010

image for Miley Cyrus, Selena Gomez, and Demi Lovato Watch South Africa and Mexico Tie 1-1 In The World Cup Opener
An official soccer ball signed by English star Wayne Rooney which Miley purchased on the street for $350.

JOHANNESBURG, South Africa - American teen queens Miley Cyrus, Selena Gomez, and Demi Lovato flew into Johannesburg's Tarzan and Jane National Airport to catch the opening game of the 2010 FIFA World Cup Finals.

The three celebrities sat in The Stripes of The Zebra Stadium, aka Soccer City, and watched as South Africa and Mexico battled to a 1-1 tie. Cyrus and Gomez were cheering for Mexico and Lovato was cheering for South Africa.

Selena said that she was rooting for Mexico because she has visited Cabo San Lucas, Mexico about a dozen times. Miley said she was cheering for Mexico because she once dated a boy in grade school, Juanito Toromalo, who was born in Oaxaca, Mexico.

Miley said that she really liked little Juanito and that he knew more piƱata jokes than anyone she has ever known.

She also said that Juanito's mother made the best sweet and sour enchiladas that she has ever eaten.

Miley confessed that Juanito's uncle Chu Chi used to tickle the bottom of her feet and would not stop until she had peed in her underwear.

[EDITOR'S NOTE: Ah let me clear that up a bit. Miley's feet not Juanito's mother's feet.]

Demi was asked why she was going for the South African team. she smiled and said that her favorite team is the Green Bay Packers.

When asked what that has to do with soccer she replied that the Packers colors are gold and green and she said that the South African uniform colors of yellow and green resemble the Packers colors a lot more than the Mexican teams colors do.

Lovato said that although she was rooting for the South African team, the team from Mexico should have won 2-1 because one of the referees made a bad call and did not count one of the goals that Mexico made.

Even ESPN soccer analyst Steve McManaman, 38, who is British and played as a winger and an attacking midfielder for Liverpool, Real Madrid, and Manchester City said that the men in blue messed up.

When he was asked why the referee discounted the goal he was told that it was just a matter of simple math - over 84,000 South African fans versus less than 500 Mexican fans.

SIDENOTE: Miley, Selena, and Demi have said that they plan on doing some shopping for African artifacts such as spears, poison dart guns, and jungle vine seeds. They'll have lunch with Shakira on Saturday and return to the states on Sunday morning aboard Southwest Airlines Flight 77012983.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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