Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Friday, 11 June 2010

image for Shakira To Sing The Official World Cup Soccer Song "Waka Waka"
When Shakira starts to belly dance her hips can reach speeds of up to 124 mph.

JOHANNESBURG, South Africa - The Colombian belly dancing firecracker Shakira will be singing the official 2010 FIFA World Cup Soccer song.

The song which is entitled "Waka Waka" was co-written by Kara DioGuardi and Neil Sedaka.

The song tells the story of a young African lion who is abandoned by a one-ring circus just outside of Cape Town.

The lion eludes dozens of hunters and one day after wandering aimlessly finds that he has traveled all the way to Soho, England.

He is soon captured by three members of Scotland Yard's finest and sold to The Ringling Brothers and Barnum And Bailey Circus in America.

One of the circus clowns named "Puddles" names him Fifo-Fifo, which is Ugandan for young lion with hellacious callouses on his paws attained from walking thousands of miles from South Africa to England.

Songwriters DioGuardi and Sedaka personally met Fifo-Fifo, and spent a whole afternoon with him. After going out to dinner Kara and Neil wrote the song "Waka Waka."

At first Lady Gaga was supposed to have sung the song, but she found out that she is allergic to lions. Celine Dion was offered the song next, but she cannot sing because of her pregnancy. She said that she would not be able to hit the high notes.

Justin Bieber was then offered the song, but it was learned that his voice is in the process of changing. After considering half a dozen other artists someone suggested the hip swiveling Shakira.

She was flown to Hollywood and DioGuardi and Sedaka both agreed that no one could sing the song better than Shakie. Sedaka even said that her hip movements truly help her to reach that extremely high octave.

SIDENOTE: It is estimated by music experts that after Shakira sings the song at the World Cup opening ceremonies the song will probably sell more copies that "We Are The World," "You Light Up My Life," "Eleanor Rigby," and "Who Let The Dogs Out?" combined.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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