Local man, Martin Shuttlecock, currently suffering from beer and general stupidity injuries, which for a man of his age, who should know better, is admittedly shameful, humiliating and utterly idiotic, last night allowed his long-suffering wife, Anne, to play a Michael Buble DVD on the big telly.
(No more long opening sentences - all right? - Ed)
(Sorry Ed - Long winded Martin.)
Suffice to say, a difference of opinion regarding the credentials of entertainers arose. The crux of the matter concerned Shuttlecock groaning at Buble's interpretation of the old soul classic "Try A Little Tenderness" and insisting that the definitive recorded version of the song was performed by the late, great, Otis Redding at the Whisky A Go-Go club in San Francisco California, circa 1966 or possibly 1967. Who Knows? It was in black and white anyway.
Anne Shuttlecock insisted that Buble's interpretation of the song was truer to its jazz roots, whereas the Otis Redding version is "a bit shouty, and he goes a bit mental towards the end of it."
In utter disgust, after also hearing Frank Sinatra and Stevie Wonder bastardised beyond all recognition, and watching his wife grow ever more damp panted, by the second rate crooning over-inflated Canadian poseur on his TV screen - IN HIS OWN LIVING ROOM - Shuttlecock told his long-suffering other half to sod off and went to the fridge for a cold one.
Upon seeing Lou Rawls also being artistically crucified, Shuttlecock ran outside screaming, howling at the moon, and searching for a lamppost to bang his head against.
It is thought that a compromise may be reached when Michael Buble covers 'Born To Run' 'Hey Joe' and 'Say A Little Prayer For Me'
Then it can be finally established that the crooner isn't quite as good as he'd like to think he is.
More as we get it.