LONDON - Sir Patrick Stewart tried to be cute and poke fun at James Corden's belly but the attempt backfired on the bald headed bloke who thinks he resides in Buckingham Palace.
Stewart appearing on The Glamour Awards Show was presenting an award for Best Actress to Zoe Saldana of Avatar when he felt the need to focus on the shows host's midsection.
Patty, as him gay friends call him went on about how big Croden's stomach was, and how it looked like a tub of jello, and how hairy it was.
Corden looked at him and told him that he really needs to start looking at women's tits and asses and stop looking at the stomachs of same-gendered individuals.
Stewart turned red and said that when Corden sits down his stomach is so big that his lap disappears.
James shot back by saying that Sir Patrick the Arrogant apparently spent way too much time couped up on Star Trek's Enterprise and he forgot that he is supposed to admire the bodies of females and not of males.
Sir Patrick said that James resembles the volcano in Iceland except that he's shorter, fatter, and doesn't smell quite as bad.
Corden looked at Stewart's nose and told him that he knows of a doctor in Soho who can fix his nose so that it does not resemble an 85-year-old woman's sagging tit.
The crowd applauded and started shouting for Sir Patrick to get his pantywaist arse (ass) off the stage.
As Patrick turned to walk off the stage the band started playing the Lady Gaga song "I'm A Bitch In Heat So Leave Me The Eff Alone."
One of the stage hands overheard Sir Patrick telling his manager backstage that he does indeed have an uncontrollable fetish attraction to James Corden's belly.
In other news. Cuba has said that they will not be participating in the World Cup Soccer Finals due to the cigar epidemic.