Big Brother 2010 opens tonight, and promises to be the most controversial and exciting edition yet. Like all the other Big Brothers before it. Including the Z-List celebrity version.
So here we go again - Davina McCall in her best shouty voice running around outside trying to big up proceedings, whilst a crowd of noisy gawkers who could actually be bothered to cobble together banners ooh and aah like idiots outside.
Inside the house it's just going to be another motley collection of publicity hungry goons trying to be as outrageous as possible.
Nothing new there then.
We'll also have live internet feeds and 24 hour TV coverage of some birds tweeting while another bunch of absolute tossers lounge about in the sun and do their utmost to get on each other's nerves.
Doubtless, at some point, somebody will decide to have sex! Outrageous! Compelling viewing for the socially inept, the couch potato, and the voyeur. None of whom apparently have anything more constructive to do.
Our top media observer, eccentric English film producer/director Buffty Ginslinger, told us exclusively from his Soho watering hole, as he puffed on a big cigar in blatant violation of the smoking ban:
"I can't believe people actually tune in to this execrable shite. Fecking morons one and all. They'd be far better employed devoting their time and finances to my currently shelved movie biopic about 60s bad boy wrestler Mick McManus of New Cross Gate, which was supposed to feature Alex Reid as Mick McManus, Peter Andre as Jackie 'Mister TV' Pallo and featuring a topless cameo by Katie Price. Much more entertaining. Whose round is it?"
More as we get it.