Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Wednesday, 9 June 2010

image for Ellen DeGeneres Says She Wants Either Sandra Bullock or Scarlett Johansson To Replace Simon Cowell (Hmmm)
Kara DioGuardi has some gorgeous looking thighs which fellow judge Ellen DeGeneres says she has touched over 45 times.

HOLLYWOOD HILLS - Ellen DeGeneres called up the producer of American Idol, Simon Shindlebocker and told him that she would like for him to replace Simon Cowell with either Sandra Bullock or Scarlett Johansson.

Shindlebocker asked Ellen if she had seen "The Kiss" between Bullock and Johansson on The MTV Movie Awards Show.

Ellen blushed and said that she had and she truly feels that both women have a tremendous knowledge of not only music, but of the inner workings of the young innocent minds of young people who want to be the next Lee DeWyze, Crystal Bowersox, or even Tatiana "Tit For Tat" Del Toro.

DeGeneres confided to Shindlebocker that she feels that he needs to let Kara DioGuardi go.

When asked why, Ellen replied that for openers "Hormonal Kara" made a total and complete ass of herself trying to re-enact the scenes with Mrs. Robinson and Benjamin Braddock from the movie The Graduate with her Fort Worth "Cowboy Toy" Casey James.

And secondly the New York gal with the raging hormones literally threw herself all over (the engaged) Simon Cowell. Ellen said that one time Kara's wedding ring actually got caught in Simon's pants zipper during one of the commercial breaks.

DeGeneres said that DioGuardi seems to relish acting like a 14-year-old schoolgirl instead of like the 39-year-old wife that she is.

Ellen also pointed out the fact that she did not like it that on three different occasions when she (Ellen) accidentally fondled Kara's upper thighs she (Kara) got all upset and called Ellen a libidinous lesbian who ever since she first set eyes on her (Ellen on Kara) lusted for her with all of the lust that one could muster in a relatively controlled environment.

Shindlebocker says that he will sit down with the owner of the show Simon Cowell and see what they can work out.

In other news. The team from Iceland will not be attending the World Cup Soccer Finals in South Africa due to the fact that all of their soccer balls are frozen solid.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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