Written by Bill Licks
Print this

Tuesday, 8 June 2010

image for Alanis Morissette marries a crapper
''And I'm here to remind you, of the mess you left when you had diarrhoea''

Canadian songstress Alanis Morissette today announced she will be marrying her crapper. The crapper, or toilet as its known in English, has been the best friend of the singer for a few years now since Morissette first discovered the joys of spending half an hour each day on the john, or toilet as its known in English, reading a copy of her favourite National Enquirer magazine.

Rumours began to spread in the tabloids about the relationship when Morissette was seen with the crapper dropping her kids off at the pool - that's taking a good shit in American.

Her maid Consuela Lopez said 'Alanis spends so much time on the bano, or toilet as its known in English, that myself and the rest of the staff began to joke she was in love with it. We would walk past the door when she was sat in the bathroom and we would hear strange grunting and moaning noises as if she was trying to pass a breeze block through her tiny arsehole. We then wondered if the noises were the lyrics for her next single - little did we know the sounds she was making were those of a woman in the throws of passion.'

The wedding date has not yet been set but Morrissette has been seen sporting a big ring - That was after a heavy night of twelve pints of Stella and a vindaloo but an application of Preparation H helped to reduce the swelling.

Make Bill Licks's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story


Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!


What's 3 multiplied by 4?

8 7 12 16
48 readers are online right now!

Go to top

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more