London - (Preposterous Mess): A former Michael Jackson minder says a transatlantic cover-up 'involving the Bushes' is behind a UK judge's decision to ban a jury from hearing upcoming libel testimony.
Dave 'Knuckleduster' White's appeal alleges a massive $$$s conspiracy promoted George Bush Senior's Jackson doppelganger son by Elizabeth Taylor into the Michael Jackson role soon the entertainer's death in 1990.
And that George W Bush himself topped the real Jackson after a drunken brawl at the Bush family Kennebunkport home, burying his body in a Walker's Point landfill.
Last week Mr Justice Bung ruled a full-on libel jury is not needed in the forthcoming Appeal Court defamation case.
Testimony showing the Bush-sired Jackson tribute act's DNA has also been banned under spurious UK National Poisons Unit rules banning the import of suspect foreign toxins.
White's attorney Hubert V Finkleshyster says a blatant whitewash is at work following reports that the lookalike singer's posthumous earning have soared to over $1 billion since his death last year.
And that the only 'real' Michael Jackson these days is the tribute act known as Barack Hussain Obama.
"Obama is Mary Jo Kopechne's secret love child by the Rev Jesse Jackson," the bodyguard commented this weekend.
"She christened him Michael after her father following a gruelling 2 day labor in a Haiti mud hut.
"The rest is hystery."