Written by Jaggedone
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Sunday, 6 June 2010

image for Rolling Stone, Keith Richards hangs himself after Brits choose Led Zeppelin and Freddy Mercury as their favs!
Last seen dangling from a coconut tree, well he should have been dead 40 years ago anyway!

Jonathan Ross (who?) heading one of his most bizarre and pathetic shows ever asked the British public and a couple of wannabee, has-been celebs to vote for their best British rock performers ever.

It turned out that the show was indeed manipulated and some icons of British rock didn't even get a mention, especially Pink Floyd and of course the Rolling Stones.

Keith Richards locking in to this sensational dose of excrement from his house somewhere in the Bahamas was so devastated at the results that he was last seen dangling from a nearby coconut tree.

Happily Johnny Depp was in the vicinity and cut him down!

Jonathan is a mercurial specialist in mesmerising the public with his constant quips of meaningless, constant bullshit and to add insult to injury even let a disastrous Led Zeppelin cover band finish the show.

OK, Led Zeppelin are worthy winners but completely ignoring the Stones and the Floyd, well I never!

There were a couple of other bands which failed to win the recognition of the fab Ross public, a certain Brit sensation called The Darkness (last seen applying for jobs at the local monastry) and Zig Zig Sputnick (suppose to conquer the world and last seen locked up in Broadmoor).

Last not least, fab Oasis, no comment ask Jonathan!

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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