Written by Bill Licks
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Topics: Big Brother

Saturday, 5 June 2010

image for Big Brother goes to the circus for last ever series
Jade Goody can't wait for the final series of Big Brother

The show that inflicted the likes of Jade Goody and, erm, the ghost of Jade Goody on the British public has turned to the circus to get its contestants for the last ever series.

A bearded lady, the incredible three breasted half man, half rat, juggling trapeze artist and a manically depressed clown are just three of the contestants who have appeared in previous series of Big Brother so the producers have tried their hardest to find a new set of freaks for TV viewers to shout abuse at.

Among the new contestants will be a man with a large penis for a head who ejaculates gallons of sperm at the sound of Davina Mccall's voice; a woman with a large vagina for a head who plans to have sex with the penis headed man in the hot tub; a transsexual with an arse for a head who plans to have sex with the penis headed man in the hot tub; and a steaming pile of elephant shit who is odds on favourite with the bookies to be crowned the victor of Big Brother 2010.

The producers hope the final series will be the most controversial ever and have a few surprises in waiting for the unsuspecting contestants. These include rupturing an oil pipe in the middle of the night while the contestants are asleep; covering the house in volcanic ash; and telling the contestants they all owe 100 grand to the tax man and the first person to find the shotgun hidden in the hot tub gets to eliminate the other contestants in whatever way he/she chooses.

The final series starts on Wednesday 9th June and will be broadcast in HD, 3D, POV, DP, C.U.N.T. etc

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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