CONNECTICUT (AP) Reporters staked out at Martha Stewart's estate caught a glimpse of Howard Stern entering Martha's house at 2 o'clock in the morning. Rumors quickly spread that Howard Stern and Martha Stewart were carrying on some kind of secret romance. Spoof reporter Morgan Truce placed a phone call to Howard Stern's cell phone: "Hello Howard… I know I just saw you sneaking into Martha Stewart's house… what in the world is going on Howard?"
Howard Stern: "I really didn't think I would be able to keep this a secret very long. The truth is… I've been attracted to Martha Stewart for a long, long time. I saw those pictures of her on the cover of Vogue when she was a college student. She was so hot. Whenever I see her, I still dream about those pictures. I was just a guy who couldn't get a date, and here was this gorgeous college girl. I'm getting kind of excited right now just thinking about that picture of her in the camel hair coat…"
Morgan Truce: "But Howard, Martha Stewart is a convicted felon now…"
Howard Stern: "Yeah, that makes it even more exciting for me! Here… Martha just got out of the shower… I know you probably want to talk to her too. One second…"
Martha Stewart: "Can't you reporters leave us alone? I just spent five months in the slammer down in &^%^*ing West Virginia with a bunch of horny women. I spent all that time dreaming about how I was going to get Howard Stern in the sack when I got out. Now I have to spend many months in home confinement wearing this damned ankle bracelet. OK… I want you all to know that I'm not going to leave my house for even a minute. Howard and I are going to stay in here together for the next few months. We are going to have a lot of fun with each other acting out all of our darkest fantasies. I just sent out for a few cases of whipped cream and rubbing oil. Howard Stern is simply the perfect man for me right now.... Oh, Howard... stop licking my bracelet... I've got to go..."