Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Saturday, 5 June 2010

image for Jennifer Aniston Begs Brad Pitt To Please, Please, Please Leave Angelina Jolie And Return To Her
Jennifer Aniston with her long blonde hair blowing in the Baja California breeze.

CABO SAN LUCAS, Mexico - Jennifer Aniston was vacationing in Cabo San Lucas, Mexico when she was asked about her love life by a reporter for The Baja California Mucho Gusto News.

Aniston told the reporter identified as Francisco Sausalito, that it was kind of a personal question. Sausalito replied, "Jes, eat ease Mees Aniston but dat ease what my readers want to read about. Dey dunt care about jer favorite color, or favorite food, or even if jer carpet matches jer drapes."

Jennifer laughed and told Francisco that he had the cutest accent. Francisco replied, "Hey lady ju are in Mexico and to me ju are dee one who has dee accent okey dokey hokey pokey."

Aniston started giggling and said that he was absolutely right. She then told him that she had no love life. She said that ever since Brad (Pitt) dumped her for that skanky whore she has not been fulfilled in the womanly department.

She paused and said that yes the salami gets hidden alright, but it just is not the same.

Francisco got a puzzled look on his face and he asked, "Ah Mees Aniston, by dee word salami du ju mean chorizo?"

Aniston grinned and said, "Si senor, by salami I mean chorizo."

Sausalito started laughing so hard he accidentally spilled Jennifer's Papaya Margarita on her bikini bottom. He apologized profusely. He offered to buy her another Papaya Margarita and get her some chips and queso.

Aniston said that she was okay and that the hot Mexican sun would dry off her wet bikini bottom in ten minutes. She then told Francisco that her 2010 new year's resolution was to take Brad away from Angelina Jolie and once again become Mrs. Brad Pitt.

She even said that she had called him on his cell phone two days ago and asked him to please, please, please dump Angelina and return to her.

Francisco told her that if he was Pitt he would dump roly poly Jolie and jump on her (Jen's) bones quicker than she could say "Mi lapiz es azul" (my pencil is blue).

Jennifer thanked him and gave him a kiss on his cheek.

Aniston thought for a moment. And then said, "Say Francisco what are you doing tonight?"

"Nada (nothing), Miss Aniston," he replied.

"Well I'm not doing anything either, so what do you say that you come up to my hotel room and we do nothing together."

"Wow! Caramba! Hoover Dammit! and Ole Toro! Mees Aniston dat sounds mucho berry great. Lemmy just run over tu da drugstore and buy some ribbed condominiums."

"Ole Francisco. Ole you Latin mofo." Jennifer softly whispered to herself as she sensuously licked the queso off of one of the chips.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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