Written by Charpa93
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Friday, 4 June 2010

image for Tony Hayward and Kristen Stewart Trade Media Gaffs Over a Beer

New Orleans International Airport - After rushing to get to the New Orleans International Airport for separate flights out, Kristen Stewart and Tony Hayward found themselves at a bar and grill and decided to sit down and compare notes on who had the lousier week.

Said Tony, "You go first." Kristen smiled and told Tony he could go first, so he did.

"Well, my week has pretty much been a shambles ever since I told the entire world that I wanted my life back. Silly me to want some normalcy, eh? I've been eating, sleeping, dreaming, waking oil for over a month and half now and they still want me to be all concerned for the other guys, you know, who died and all, and the plants and birds and stuff-oh, and can't forget the people who can't do any fishing for awhile, them too," he said sounding a bit miffed. "What about me, man? What about me?"

"Tell me about it," said Kristen. "I don't even know what to say to anyone anymore without getting my head bit off. The paps are all over me day and night and I'm supposed to just smile pretty while they take pictures of me from every freakin' angle. So I tell them I feel like I'm being raped and you'd think the freakin' sky just fell in. Now I'm walking around apologizing to everyone for every little thing and no one sees my side of it, at all. No one. It's like I think rape is ok? Gimme a break already."

And so they sat there, drinking the large size beer and commiserating about how life has dealt them a lousy hand and how they can't even complain about it because everyone else has a more legitimate complaint.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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