Written by C. Cranium
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Topics: Star Trek

Friday, 4 June 2010

image for Sir Captain Picard Ties One On
Sir Patrick Stewart seen celebrating after being knighted.

In the wee hours Wednesday a man atop Big Ben was apprehended for disturbance of the peace and criminal trespass. As the man was rushed away by police he was heard shouting, "dammit Scotty beam me up".

A reliable source, within the police ranks, identified the man as Sir Patrick Stewart who was knighted earlier today by Queen Elizabeth and then attended a day of revelry and celebration.

Upon arrival at the police precinct the source stated that Sir Stewart was unruly and claimed to be Falstaff. Falstaff was given some strong coffee, and admitted that he was actually not Falstaff but really Sir Ian MCKellan. An hour later Sir Stewart returned and stated he was misheard and was actually shouting "dammit Gordy beam me up".

Within minutes Sir Stewart was released on bail and left with legal council.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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