Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Friday, 4 June 2010

image for Miley Cyrus Yells At Her Critics: "Hey Y'all I'm Better Than Gaga, Britney, Jessica, Christina, and Ke$ha All Put Together"
This is a photo of a Louisiana tar ball that has been painted to resemble a mature female knocker.

TULSA, Oklahoma - Miley Cyrus was in town performing at The Sooner or Later Arena. The sold out crowd of 82,093, went wild for the girl who until recently was simply known as Hannah Montana, and who is now being referred to as Hohanna.

Miley says that she is sick and tired of hearing the critics say that she is acting like she is 27, instead of 17.

She noted that Marilyn Monroe was only 14, when she posed for her first non-nude calendar. And she pointed out that Pamela Anderson was only 12, when she first started thinking about having breast augmentation surgery.

Cyrus has been severely criticized for her acts of pole dancing, crotch grabbing, beaver flashing, and most recently giving the producer of her latest movie a free lap dance.

Regarding the free lap dance, Miley says that it is her understanding that the Lap Dancers Union of America is very upset with her because she did not charge the recipient of her lap dance, film producer Adam Shankman.

Miley said that first of all, she has since received a personal check and under memo, Adam Shankman wrote L.D. for lap dance.

Secondly, Miley said that Shanky, as she calls him, is as gay as a six-dollar bill. She even pointed out that when she was rubbing her (rear) against his (front) there was absolutely no sensuous feeling whatsoever.

She did say that a girl who was standing next to Shanky did appear to be playing with herself, but she (Miley) cannot help that anymore than she can do something about the damn BP Gulf of Mexico Oil Spill.

Miley said that she was tired and she had to go backstage to get her feet, shoulders, and crotch region massaged.

As she was leaving the stage, she hollered out to the assembled media, critics, paparazzi, and entertainment reporters. "Hey y'all, I'm better than Gaga, Britney, Christina, Jessica, and Ke$ha all put together!

And if y'all don't believe me than you can form a line stage left and as they say on the cattle ranches of Oklahoma, y'all can suck it 'til the freakin cows come home!"

In other news. Louisiana oil tar balls are starting to show up on the shoreline of Pensacola, Florida. A highly entrepreneurial individual named Teddy P. Scumskimmer is packaging the tar balls as genuine 'Oh Oh Obama Tar Balls.'

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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