Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Thursday, 3 June 2010

image for Howie Mandel, The New Judge On America's Got Talent Has Been Fined For Accidentally Hitting The X-Buzzer A Bunch
Howie Mandel's pet dog "Onions" who is not allowed to lick his 'you-know-whats.'

HOLLYWOOD - The new kid (judge) on the block, Howie Mandel, has already been welcomed big time by having a $3,000 fine levied on him by the producer of the hit reality show America's Got Talent.

AGT Producer Wyatt McViolin, stated that he hated to fine Mr. Mandel but he had been warned three times to be careful and not be hitting the x-buzzer accidentally.

McViolin said that apparently Mandel, who has a history of being very uncooperative as well as being one of the nation's biggest germ freaks, chose to ignore his very explicit warnings.

Mandel said that it was an accident, but Sharon "Sniffles" Osbourne, who sits next to Mandel, said that she clearly saw Howie purposely hit the x-buzzer on purpose.

Piers Morgan who sits at the other end of the judges table says that he personally overheard Mandel telling one of the cameramen that he was going to hit the x-buzzer on purpose every chance he got to drive AGT host Nick Cannon (Mariah Carey's better half) crazy.

When asked why he would want to do that, Mandy, as his gay neighbor calls him, smiled and said because he has always fantasized about one day he (Howie) and her (Mariah) running off to Dubai, Dublin, Duluth, or some other sexy city with a "D" and getting married.

Morgan conveyed that to the shows director Reggie Scumly, who passed the info on to McViolin.

Cannon said that three different contestants including the man who eats discarded salmon complained to him that Mandel's inadvertent x-buzzer hitting threw them off and actually made them so nervous that they could not perform well and thus lost out on going to Las Vegas.

Another of the complaining contestants, Agatha Trollhaus, who juggles a bowling ball, a basketball, and both her amazingly humongous tits, all at the same time, said that she was so traumatized by hearing the x-buzzer that she truly believes she will not be able to conceive any more babies.

SIDENOTE: Nick Cannon has revealed that the reason that his little cutey Mariah Carey looks so damn fat is because she is carrying twins. The babies, who they plan to name Bippy and Bappy, after two of Mariah's uncles presently look just like two little fried okras.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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