CARIBOU, Maine - Long time radio and TV political commentator, raconteur, ranter, and raver Rush Limbaugh was in Caribou speaking to a gathering of the town's Republicans For A Richer America. He told the crowd of 17 that he has decided to get hitched for a fourth time.
"El Rusho" remarked that he wanted to put an end to the rampant rumors by saying that yes, he is marrying a woman.
He was asked where the rumors of him marrying a non-woman began. "El Tub-O" lit up a 12 inch cigar and erotically sucked on it like Pamela Anderson sucking on a (you know what) and replied that he did not know.
After some further reflection he stated that he believes that the rumors possibly started in either Los Angeles, San Francisco, or Malibu Beach, California.
When asked for his fiancees name Limbaugh said that her name is Kathryn Rogers. He proudly added that she is only 33 years old.
He was asked what in the world could a woman who is young enough to be his daughter see in him. He shot the question back to the reporter.
The reporter did not miss a beat and answered, "Money! money! and more money!"
[EDITOR'S NOTE: Limbaugh uttered some extremely offensive expletives which we cannot print since we understand that some elementary schools in California, Nevada, Colorado, and Florida use our Internet site as a learning tool.]