CHICAGO - Sarah Ferguson, aka The Duchess of York, sat down with Oprah Winfrey at the Downtown Holiday Inn and spoke about her recent undercover sting operation.
Ferguson, who claims to be on the verge of bankruptcy, was dressed in an outfit she said she purchased at Wal-Mart for $13 [£8.87 British].
Oprah showed her the video of her working out a deal with an agent who according to The Nottingham Messenger News newspaper is an Al Qaeda operative.
The London Hand-Held Daily Mirror, however stated that the individual was not an Al Qaeda member but actually a member of the rival terrorist group the Taliban.
Oprah asked Ferguson which paper she tended to believe. The duchess simply replied, "Oh I dunno Opie. I guess its a question of six of one a dozen of the other."
"Ah Sarah, you mean six of one half dozen of the other."
"Ah Miss Winfrey, with all due respect mum. I think that I'm in a bit of a 'orrible brew without ya making it worse for meself."
Oprah laughed and stated, that there is really no way that she could possibly get into a bigger mess than she already is in.
Winfrey asked if the amount of money that she wanted was indeed 500,000 pounds. Ferguson giggled in his royalesque tone and said that it was. Oprah asked how much that would be in American money. The duchess said that it would be $733,000.
Oprah started oohing and awing and said, "Dammit girlfriend, The James boys, Frank and Jesse did da same thing with trains back in da 1880s, but them boys used guns."
Ferguson laughed and said, "And all I 'ave is a simple little Revlon lipstick, some Cover Girl mascara, and me crotchless knickers I does."
"And a right pretty pair of crotchless knickers dey be if I may say so myself honey child." Oprah said licking her ample lips.
Winfrey asked the Duchess of York how she feels about the whole thing now. Sarah looked away and said that now she feels like the Duchess of Dork.
She pointed out that she feels so bad that she would even be willing to trade places with some of the world's ugliest women such as Amy Winehouse, Tori Spelling, Martina Navratilova, Donatella Versace, or even Jocelyn Wildenstein.
[EDITOR'S NOTE: Wow! Jocelyn Wildenstein has got to be the world's ugliest woman. Go to Google Images and type in Jocelyn Wildenstein. CAUTION: Not to be viewed by those with a weak stomach.]