Written by KendoMonkey
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Tuesday, 24 June 2003

image for Dusty Bin to become gay icon
You sexy little mite...what *is* your hand doing?

3-2-1's most famous asset - the Bin - has been taken high upon the shoulders of self-proclaimed "gay people", and is set to become the next big thing amongst queers.

"As queers, we have decided that you're not allowed to use that word. You must call us gay," chipped in Gay Pride leader, Jacob Mitey, who is in my room as I write this. "I know you'll be tempted to use the word 'queers' in your story, but please don't! It's offensive. It would be like me calling you...oooh, something horrible."

Jacob, who has no control over my story writing process, gave us the lowdown on the bin called Dusty: "He's a nice chap - lovely legs! Anyway, we're sick of the whole Village People thing and we want to update our image!"

So, instead of using the 70s icons The Village People, the gay community has decided instead to go with an 80s icon: Dusty Bin. "We jumped a whole decade! That's how progressive we are," Jacob Mitey continued. "It was weird how the whole thing came about. You see, initially we were talking about it and one of us said how we'd rather have Dusty Springfield as the arch-icon of we queers. But then someone chimed in with the suggestion of Dusty Bin instead - we thought it was great!"

Suggestions have been made that the Dusty Bin part was a joke, but Jacob retorts, "Look, you meanies, we can do whatever we want. We've never looked ridiculous before, so we're not about to now!" And with that Jacob threw his feather boa over his shoulders and left.

This has been Jimbo Jones, for TheSpoof.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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