Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Saturday, 29 May 2010

image for Dancing With The Stars' Derek Hough Flies To Great Britain and Puts The (Dance) Moves on Cheryl Cole
Cheryl Cole getting ready to go out on her date with her BFF Derek Hough.

LONDON - Derek Hough and Pussycat Doll Nicole Scherzinger captured the Dancing With The Stars coveted Mirror Ball Trophy and within 48 hours "Dancing Derek" flew to London to capture Chezza Cole's heart (again).

The two lovebirds had nested in Los Angeles back in February when Cheryl visited Derek out on the Left Coast. Several close friends of Derek's including fellow Dancing With The Stars dancer Mark Ballas have remarked that they have never seen Derek happier than when he is with Chezza.

Mark says that he can tell just by looking at Derek's crotch. He catches himself and adds that he isn't gay or anything, it's just that he has always been a very observant individual.

Derek, who grew up with the Ballas family, laughs and says that Mark isn't gay but points out that his boyfriend is.

Hough then notes that Ballas actually has more girlfriends than Jesse James, except that Mark's girls are pretty, classy, and tattooless.

An unnamed source who is very close to Cheryl remarked that he overheard her and Derek talking about ring sizes. Cheryl has asked her lawyer to speed up the divorce proceedings so that she can once and for all be rid of the low-life cheating footballer husband Ashley the ass wipe.

Cheryl has said that she has never known a man like Derek. She smiles and says that he gives her feelings in her groin region that she can best describe as being kind of like dozens of firecrackers going off in her bloomin' knickers all at the same time.

Chezza has said that she is definitely still planning on going to America and being one of the judges on Simon Cowell's brand new X-Factor along with Paula Abdul and Matthew McConaughey.

Derek reportedly told her that she can stay at his Hollywood Hills mansion Casa Cha Cha Cha, which he says he hopes to one day rename Casa Chezza Chezza Chezza.

"Dancing Derek" grinned like the California cat that swallowed the Colorado canary and said that he has seven extra bedrooms and that Cheryl can choose anyone she wants.

SIDENOTE: Derek's sister Julianne Hough says that she really likes Cheryl a lot. She said that she knows that her brother truly cares about Cheryl because of the fact that she, like Mark Ballas, is very observant. Julianne grabs her crotch and winks.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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