SELMA, Alabama - Justin Bieber performed to a sell out crowd of 40,000 at Selma's Cotton Balls Coliseum. Afterwards he was asked how his concert tour of the Old South is going.
The Canadian born Bieber remarked that it is going great and added that he has never in his life heard so many "yes sirs, yes ma'ams, no sirs, and no ma'ams"
He smiled and said that Southern people have got to be the most polite people in all of America. He said that he recently performed up in Alaska where he heard nothing but "Damn it sure is effen cold," "Okay who the hell borrowed my caribou hunting rifle and didn't put it back," and "Wow, she ain't bad looking for an Eskimo chick."
Bieber said that the American South and Alaska are as different as night and day, salt and pepper, and Clay Aiken and Toby Keith.
He also noted that he has never seen so much cornbread. Justin said that it's everywhere you look on bus stop benches, in department store dressing rooms, and even in baby bottles.
Justin was asked if he has heard anything from Kim Kardashian who he was rumored to have been dating. Bieber blushed and said that he had to end their relationship when Kim started talking about things like an exclusive commitment, children, and a pre-nup.
He did say that he received a very flirty text message from American Idol reject Siobhan Magnus. Justin was asked what Siobhan had written to him. He blushed and said that he would not reveal the full text except to say that it did include words like boobies, pee-pee, beaver, ovulating, and condoms.
In other news. Thailand was to have invaded Tunisia this week but the invasion plans have been cancelled due to the fact that the two reasons for the invasion were totally ridiculous.