Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Tuesday, 1 June 2010

image for Kanye West, Snoop Dogg, 50 Cent, and Chris Brown To Form A Rap Band Called "The Louisiana Tar Balls"
Bill Cosby's half-brother "Silly Willie" Duckworth will be the band's bongo player.

HARLEM - Hip hop rapper 50 Cent was in Harlem visiting his favorite cousin Tyrone P. Blumenthal, aka 25 Cent, when he was asked if the rumors of a super rap group were true.

The man known as 50 Cent, jiggled his neck bling bling, took out the obligatory wad of cash, grabbed his crotch a bit, and replied, "Yeah, bro dat sho nuff be a good effen rumor fa shizzle my nizzle."

He was asked who all would be in the African-American rap band. 50 Cent asked "Say Sparky, now who da hell says dat it be a African-American rap band. Now ya ain't trying ta be disrespectful ta da black community now is ya not or is ya yeah?"

Sparky, whose real name is Billy McSimple, a white writer for The Boston Daily Crab newspaper, replied that when he heard Mr. 50 Cent say that it was a rap band, he just naturally assumed that it was an African-American band.

"Uh huh. I knows dat, dat be exzachary what ya be thinkin. Cause I knows exzachary how ya white honkie dudes be always assumim' and shit."

50 Cent went on to say that he does not like being called an African-American simply because he was born in Queens, New York.

He went on to stress that he has never even been anywhere near Africa, unless you consider certain neighborhoods of Detroit, Africa, but not really.

50 Cent laughed and then said that four years ago he and his Aunt LaJemina Fondue, did go visit the Bronx Zoo and did see some African lions, an African anaconda, and an African penguin, who he said simply looked sad as hell.

50 Cent was asked if he could please get back to the subject of the super rap band. He replied "yo" (yes).

He went on to state that the original idea came from him and Kanye West. He said that Kanye had called him up and told him that after he stole the microphone at the award show from that little crybaby honky bitch his record sales went into the toilet.

He added that at his last concert, up in Cleveland, there were only 37 people in the audience and 29 had received free complimentary peanuts

[WRITER'S NOTE: West meant to say tickets.]

50 Cent said that Kanye had told him that Chris Brown was pretty much in the same boat after he had accidentally batted around Rihanna a little bit.

Meanwhile Snoop Dogg is just the type that likes to be in the middle of things like his wife Shante and before her girlfriends Marquell, Regatta, Daneesha, and Shambray.

When asked what they plan to call their new super rap band, 50 Cent touches his bling, his wad (of cash), and his groin and says "We gots our name from American Idol's token black Randy "The Black Dawg" Jackson who suggested the name The Yo Yo Non-Pitchy All-Knowin' Ho Hoin' Black Super Rap Band.

SIDENOTE: The new rap band will be managed by Puff Diddy's Bling It On Home Productions. Puff Diddy does not like Randy "The Black Dawg" Jackson and actually calls him an Uncle Tom, so he changed the name of the super rap band to The Louisiana Tar Balls, in honor of the mess off the Louisiana coast.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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