Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Sunday, 6 June 2010

image for Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart Announce That "The Twilight Saga: Eclipse" Will Be Shown In 5-D
The trailer house in Kosciusko, Mississippi where Oprah Winfrey was born.

HOLLYWOOD - Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart have both let the cat out of the bag and the producers of The Twilight Saga: Eclipse are not at all happy.

Pattinson and Stewart announced on The Oprah Winfrey Show that the latest edition of the vampire series was shot in and will be shown in 5-D as opposed to the standard 3-D.

Oprah asked what all that D stuff meant. Kristen said that she really had no idea. Robert then told her that it is just a bunch of technical mumbo jumbo that she really does not need to concern herself with.

Winfrey asked if they will have to wear 5-D glasses. RoPat said that an electronic sensoring device will actually be incorporated and will be integrated with 5-D glasses as well as a 5-D hearing mechanism and a 5-D olfactory receptacle encasement

He said that this will be the first of its kind anywhere in the history of motion pictures. Oprah asked how much extra will moviegoers have to pay for this new 5-D gadget.

RoPat told her that the 5-D electronic mechanism known as The 5-D Super Moviola Enhancer can be purchased at most Walgreen's stores for $89.91.

He then pointed out that the producers of The Twilight Saga: Eclipse have stated that anyone wishing to purchase the 5-D Super Moviola Enhancer can do so by logging on to www.supermoviolaenhancerthingy.wow. where they can purchase the 5-D SME for three easy payments of $29.97 each.

'The Twilight Saga: Eclipse' will have its non-Hollywood premier in New Madrid, Missouri, which is the hometown of Elmer Sunspooky, 48, the man who invented The 5-D Super Moviola Enhancer.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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