Written by Monkey Woods

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Thursday, 27 May 2010

image for U2 To Be Replaced By Gorilla At Glastonbury
Not Bono

A Gorilla is to replace the rock band U2 at the Glastonbury festival next month, after singer Bono announced that an injury he sustained in Germany was more serious than at first thought.

The legendary band were due to appear at the festival at the end of a gruelling 16-date US tour, until the Irish frontman collapsed after reaching for a high note during rehearsals in Munich.

Organiser Michael Eavis told fans, however, that he had the perfect substitute for the Irish rockers, a fantastic talking ape, called Damon. He promised, instead, that the crowd will be treated to "a massive audio visual wildlife spectacle which will really ignite the Pyramid Stage".

Bono, 71, told journalists:

"I have no idea why I wear these stupid wrap-around glasses."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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