Written by Hydrogen Balloon
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Wednesday, 26 May 2010

image for Susan Boyle Bitten By Vampire
One Of Susan's Fans

New York, NY-- Scottish siren Susan Boyle is pale these days, and with good reason. The shy chanteuse was bitten on the neck by a vampire last week. The unknown male vampire bit Susan's neck, but was scared off by the crucifix around Susan's neck. The experience has upset Susan's nerves, and left her on the edge of a complete nervous breakdown.

Susan was wearing her red scarf around her neck today, she felt too ashamed to let anyone see the vampire bite marks. She avoided the sun completely, and said the Rosary to calm her shattered nerves.

Susan was also secretly turned-on by the vampire attack. She hopes the neck-biter will return and suck some more blood from her neck. She remembers how exciting it was to feel the vampire feed on her blood.

Tonight, as the Full Moon was rising, Susan heard The Call of her vampire. She stripped buck naked, and ran out into the bright moonlight to meet her lover. She will cross over tonight, and join the Lonely Ones for all eternity.

Susan will have a lot of famous company when she becomes a vampire. Mick Jagger, Keith Richards and Paul McCartney are just a few of the famous people who are vampires.

Susan plans to feed on her fans when she is a vampire. There will be many bloody red scarves around many necks very soon. Susan is hungry!

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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