Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Monday, 24 May 2010

image for Celebrity Apprentice: The Rock & Roller Bret Michaels Wins It All!
The bag filled with $250,000 which Bret Michaels received for winning Celebrity Apprentice.

NEW YORK CITY - Donald Trump did not tell Holly Robinson Peete that she was fired. But he did tell Bret Michaels that he was hired as the new Celebrity Apprentice before a live audience.

Holly, who had been crying from the beginning of the Celebrity Apprentice season's finale, had just about run out of teardrops.

Luckily for her she was able to borrow some from the biggest crybaby in America Glenn Beck. Beck was in the audience as the guest of Joan Rivers, who he has been rumored as dilly dallying with of late.

Rivers denies it by saying that Beck's pecker is in about the same category as Jon Gosselin's, Sean Penn's, and Rosie O'Donnell's.

Beck fired back by saying that with all of the tons of face and body work that Joan has had done if she sneezes she could very well blow her nose, both lips, eyelids, belly button, and labia majora out into the third row.

Joan shot back by telling him that he could kiss her ass. Glenn did not miss a beat and replied, I would but I am allergic to plastic.

Fired contestant and New York City girl Cyndi "Queen Peroxide" Lauper performed a song from her latest album entitled, Cyndi Lauper Sings The Songs of Francis Scott Key. The song she sang was cowritten by Francis Scott Key and Mary Todd Lincoln.

Another Celebrity Apprentice performer included American Idol reject Tatiana Del Toro who sang a song she co-wrote with the gay dude Ricky Martin and the even gayer dude Clay Aiken.

Tats, as Paula Abdul nicknamed her last year, sang "I Sing So Pretty, I Can Even Make Friggin Canaries Cry."

SIDENOTE: In a surprise move at the very end of the show that literally surprised everyone; Donald Trump fired his son Donald and his daughter Ivanka.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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