Written by Skoob1999
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this
Topics: Comedy, stand-up

Sunday, 23 May 2010

image for Stand-Up - It's Not The Hardest Game In The World. That's A Load Of Old Boar Licks That Is
Yes Mate - And Before They Took The Wheels Away Your Momma Was A Bike!

Stand-up comedians will always insist that theirs is the hardest job in the world, no matter who argues the point, but consumer research conducted by Skoob News exposes this claim as a shocking and outrageous lie.

Stand-up is not the hardest game in the world.

Computer research definitively demonstrates that standing in front of a microphone telling everybody how good you are, and how you can really relate to people barely compares with sweating your bollocks off, as you try to defuse an IED by the roadside in Helmand Province.

Nurses in A&E units frequently have to deal with utter nutjobs who shout and scream abuse at them all night. Whereas a stand-up generally takes a minute or two of abuse before being told to eff off by his audience.

People who work long shifts in industrial environments frequently are patronised by tossers with over-inflated egos, and managed by idiots, who despite their frequent use of management jargon, remain idiots. At least a stand-up has a mic to be used as an anti-knobhead weapon.

Some people's jobs entail shovelling up disgusting things, and sanitising locations where appalling things have occurred - much more difficult than recovering when a smart-arsed heckler blows your punchline.

Research Director, Charlie Williams, told us:

"Sure stand-up can be a hard job. It can make you feel unloved and rejected. But it's nowhere near as bad as being caught out by treacherous tides when you're picking cockles in the dark in Morecambe Bay. For £3.00 an hour. Stand-ups? That's not the hardest game in the world. Not at all."

Skoob News had hoped to speak to a crew member off that 'World's Deadliest Catch' show on the Discovery Channel but he'd been washed overboard.

More as we get it.

Make Skoob1999's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this


Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 2 multiplied by 1?

3 2 4 1

Go to top