Simon Cowell's new reality t.v. show "Britain's Got Teeth" is to air very soon. When asked about the premise of this new show Simon explained,
"Well, you must have heard how the people in the U.S. of A joke, frequently, about how bad the teeth of the British are, which is utter claptrap anyway. Just look at my 'pearly whites."
Simon wants to show the world that British teeth can be great, if not better than those of other nationalities.
"The American public look up to people like 'The Osmonds' and will spend a fortune to get those big ivory tombstones fitted. Some even go so far as to have their jaws enlarged to 'house' their new 'pearly whites'. The fact that many end up looking like Bugs Bunny, doesn't seem to deter them in the least."
The new show will have Brits. flashing real teeth at the audience, and a panel, made of of Simon and two gorgeous blonde dentists, will be the judges.
The show will tour Britain in an effort to find the perfect teeth. There will be a number of rounds, naturally, and the final will be held in October.
"I would like to warn anyone wishing to audition, that if they turn up at an audition with better teeth than mine, they will be given their marching orders!"
Esther Ransen, Ken Dodd sand Cilla Black will be introducing the contestants. Princess Ann is not available.
(Author's note: Simon's teeth are REAL?!)