London - (Fisticuffs): The Beeb's new reality tv season has debuted with Jonathan Ross re-enacting classic scenes from the cult movie Fight Club.
Switching from monotone Norton default mode the iconic presenter initiated guests Ross Noble and Gary Lineker into the art of mannish floor wrestling.
"The trio grappled with gay abandon," one of Wossy's 'Four Poofs and a Piano' singers commented.
"This little quartet nearly wet itself with excitement!"
Producers said the show's leatherette casting couch was shredded with nail marks and had a peculiar five inch indentation.
"Kinda butternut squash-shaped only much, much smaller, ha ha!" a bemused sound engineer told reporters.
The indent appeared after Nobel and Lineker held Ross face down and pummelled his all too willing posterior with dozens of hearty left hooks.
The couch, Ross's desk and miuch of the studio itself were later hosed down and all three pugilists treated for, er, bruising.
Marla Singer was founbd snoring loudly in the BBC's Green Room.