Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Thursday, 20 May 2010

image for American Idol: Kara DioGuardi's "Cowboy Toy" Casey James Told To Mosey On Back To Fort Worth
Crystal Bowersox and Lee DeWyze were each given a personally signed guitar by Shania Twain.

HOLLYWOOD - The American Idol finals has come down to Crystal Bowersox and Lee DeWyze as the Texas Cowboy, Casey James was told to saddle up and head on back to The Lone Star state.

Casey knew that he was going to be leaving since the song he chose to sing on the last show was a song that no one had ever heard before. In fact the writer, Kylund McRubblecliff, said that the 2003, song only managed to sell 17 copies (world-wide).

When Casey was asked why he would sing a song that no one had ever heard he replied that it was because no one had ever heard it and as a result they would not be able to make a comparison and possibly hurt his chances of winning.

The other song he sang was even worse. It was a song written by Drew Boobercastle and Buzzy Evilshiffle entitled, "My Mother-In-Law's Girdle."

No one in the audience liked the song. And an Internet site known as www.whatitbeyoulikeinmusic.huh, which monitors what kind of music people like, stated that in the entire nation there were only three people who actually liked the song compared to 6,985,249 who said they did not like it.

When James was asked why he picked it, he shouted back that Randy "The Black Dawg" Jackson and Kara "The Raging Hormones" DioGuardi had picked it for him.

Randy was asked why he picked that awfully horrible song for Casey knowing that it would probably increase his chances of getting eliminated. He laughed and said "Well dawg, it's like dis. Less just say dat I kinda am leaning towards Crystal and Lee and yo yo, bro dat's what I be talkin' about alright my dawg."

When Kara was asked why she had picked that lousy song for Casey, she replied, "Ah. To be honest. I did it to get back at Casey for rejecting me. I literally threw myself at his feet in front of 20 million viewers and he just ignored me as if I was Paul Abdul or even worse that Madonna bitch."

So the American Idol finale will take place next week, and after starting off with over 1 million contestants, it has now come down to the final two. In the black trunks Lee "The Paint Mixer" DeWyze and in the white trunks Crystal ""Golden Dreadlocks" Bowersox.

In other news. Louisiana state police have arrested three individuals from Detroit who were caught in the possession of 80 stolen oil spill tar balls.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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