Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Thursday, 20 May 2010

image for Selena Gomez and Demi Lovato Say That The Louisiana Tar Balls Will End Up In Massachusetts
BP's Deep Horizon Well is leaking 5,003 barrels of oil a day. (Photo courtesy of Ryan Seacrest).

BOSTON - Two teenage singing sensations Selena Gomez and Demi Lovato were in Boston attending a Brenda Song concert.

After the concert the two went to Brenda's dressing room where they helped her celebrate another sold-out concert.

The three girls were asked what they thought about the Gulf of Mexico oil spill. Brenda said that she does not read the newspapers or watch the news so she had no idea that there had been an oil spill.

Selena did say that she is concerned because she loves to eat Louisiana Cajun food and the oil is getting all over the shrimp and making them look ugly and probably taste horrible.

Demi said that she loves to eat Louisiana Creole food and the oil is messing up the crayfish who now look ugly and most likely taste like 10 W 30 weight.

Both girls agreed that they will have to put on a telethon to raise money to pay to have Costa Ricans come up from Central America and help catch the tar balls with their banana snagging nets.

Selena and Demi say that the only good thing about the oil is that when it gets on porpoises it makes them travel twice as fast as they normally would, which is great, if they happen to try to be outrunning (or out-swimming) sharks.

Brenda did say that the sharks are most likely also covered with oil so that would mean that they would be able to swim twice as fast as well and they would therefore catch the porpoises and turn them into dinner, except that sharks more than likely would not care for the oily oil taste of the porpoises.

Selena and Demi both agreed that their singing pal made a lot of sense.

Gomez and Lovato were asked if they felt that the tar balls would reach Massachusetts as many weathercasters and weather experts are predicting.

"Yes."

"Yes."

In other news. The African Council of Animal Bites, which is headquartered in Uganda, Africa, has announced that it is cancelling their annual meeting and convention which was to have taken place in Tucson, Arizona due to the fact that Arizona will soon be completely shut down by the U.S. government.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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